MOM'S 90TH BIRTHDAY

Mom's 90th Birthday was on the 22nd December 2016 (Lunar Calendar). All of us were looking forward to celebrate the grand occasion with her but life is ever so fragile with its unexpected twists and turns. Mom passed away at 1:30 AM on the 30th November 2016,  just 22 days shy of her 90th Birthday.

We know that life on earth is a transient journey from birth to death and mortality is a natural process of life. However, when it comes to say the final goodbye to someone whom you have known all your life and whom you loved so dearly, it will always be a highly emotional affair. We were mired and overcome with the sense of loss, sadness and emptiness. It was so difficult letting go. We wished our mom would live to 100 but was it predestined? Anyway this religious doctrine is beyond the realm of an atheist.

Despite the loss, there are many blessings which we should be grateful for.

Mom lived a long, full and happy life surrounded by her big and closely knitted family who adored, loved and doted on her. She had traveled around the world. The children, grandchildren and great grandchildren were always by her side. She had  no regrets in her life and there were no unfulfilled wishes. She passed away peacefully, without any prolong suffering from her illness and with the family by her side .

There is an indefinite timeline to mourning a loss but life has to go on. Mom would want us to move on, be happy and carry on with our lives and do her proud.

Thus, it was most appropriate that on her 90th Birthday we gathered together to celebrate her memories and to share the stories of our mother / grandmother /great grandmother which we will cherish forever.

HAPPY 90th BIRTHDAY MOM.

simon    22nd December 2016

RECOLLECTIONS OF MOM.... the early years

I would love to continue narrating Mom's stories if I could but circumstances are such that it has to be put on hold indefinitely for now. My earliest recollections of mom started from the time when we moved into the 2nd floor of the shop house in the middle of Kluang town when I was around 5 or 6 years old. My earlier years in our family home in Jalan Haji Manan were a complete blank.

Mom is an extrovert. Generous, kindhearted, approachable, friendly and has, in today's lingo, excellent PR skills. She is close to every family members old and young alike and loved by both close and distant relatives. She makes friends easily where ever she goes. Dad on the other hand was the exact opposite character. Cold, distant, aloof and not the easiest person to approach and talk to even for us children when we were young.

Mom was ever the gracious host. Kind, courteous and generous offering every visitor to the house a cup of Milo, then considered a nutritious and luxurious drink. We kids only get to drink Milo when we were sick. I grew up associating Milo with sickness. I can assure you, when you were running a high fever and nauseous, the drink would not go down very well. With such traumatic memories still deeply entrenched, I have not touched that stuff for a very very long time since.

There were generally 2 categories of visitors in those days.

The first being the relatives from both mom's and dad's sides. Dad was generally anti-social and would do the disappearing act whenever a visitor dropped by. Dad had the habit of either reading the papers or napping while lying on his favorite canvas lounge chair in the living room, dressed only in his homemade pajama boxer short and white Pagoda singlet. Whenever he heard voices of relatives coming up the stairs, he would jump to his feet and fled into the bedroom. Even back then, I find it comical. Of course there were occasions when he was caught off guard. The situation was rather embarrassing so mom took a couple of dad's long pants to cut and sew them into shorts for him.

Then there was the occasional visit usually in the morning by 2nd great grand uncle who was an opium smoker. He would come by for some money to support his habit, but I can't ever remember seeing dad spoke to him. Usually the money was passed to him by mom. Every once in a few months, a poor distant relative from Paloh would drop by. Mom would pass to her bundles of clothing we no longer wear for her children and other goodies.

Festive seasons especially the days before the Chinese New Year  were always a busy time. The giving and exchange of live chickens, ducks, cakes and other goodies would go on for countless rounds. There were no courier services then. The kids would do all the delivery service either on foot or bicycle running to and fro with the baskets of foods. The grumbling house help was not spared either from the task.

Outstation relatives who stayed over at the house were treated like royalties. Eating out at a restaurant was not in vogue then so mom had to cook up a storm. Every meal was a big feast. All her servings were super large to ensure it was enough for everyone and never ran out or it would be a big loss of face. I remembered those huge pots of herbal chicken soup that mom brewed. A big bowl must be served to each guest before they departed for their journey home.

The other category of visitors to the house were mostly mom's mahjong kakis. These house wives would normally come after lunch and played until about 5pm when it was time to go back to cook dinner. Occasionally, I would sit behind mom and watched her play. So by the time I was 7, I was already familiar with the game. I do not know how far back this Mahjong culture has been with the Ng family but it should be at least 4  generations counting back to my grandmother's time. With the current interest among family members, Mahjong is likely to remain a favorite past time for many more generations to come.

Being an introvert child (Dad's genes) I became very domesticated. Besides the hobby of observing ants and reading, I would follow mom around the house watching her going about her task. That was how I picked up my initial cooking and sewing skills. My daughter is still fascinated by the fact that I can sew and operate a sewing machine.

simon    18 Nov 2016

MOM'S STORY

* The rapid deterioration of mom's health was extremely devastating and traumatic. Two months back in early September, we were still enjoying the regular Sunday breakfast together after the exercise routine in USJ 4 park. In August she was participating so enthusiastically in the NG Family Mahjong Competition. Back in March, the 4 generations of the family had a fabulous holiday together touring Central Vietnam. Even the tour guide was marveling how sprightly and healthy she was for a 90 year old.

Some 6 weeks back when I first took leave from work to spend an afternoon with her, we had such quality time together. We watched Hokkien drama series on TV over afternoon coffee. She taught me the correct way to cook an authentic pumpkin rice and the family recipe for pig trotters stewed in black vinegar. I also asked her to tell me stories about her family and her childhood days. We talked for hours. It crossed my mind then, that I would record and write her stories over the next few weeks. The following and subsequent weeks I was with her, I had my note pad all ready to listen and record her stories. Unfortunately her health declined drastically by the days. Talking became an effort. Regretfully, I might never be able to write and chronicle her life stories.

In writing this short story I tried to recall and piece together the rather casual and disjointed conversations  we had during the first 2 weeks in late September. The story is rather sketchy and might not even be factually accurate but nevertheless a priceless memory as narrated by our beloved mom, grandmother and great grandmother that needs to be translated into words and share with the rest of the family.

Mom was born somewhere in Selangor on 17th December 1927. She was the 5th child and the 2nd eldest girl in a family of 10 children consisting of 6 sons and 4 daughters. I later learned that the youngest son (6th Uncle) was actually adopted. Her parents were married in China. Shortly after the marriage, her father (外公) decided to seek his fortune in Malaya along with the wave of Chinese immigrants in the early 20th Centuries. The eldest child ( 大 姨) was born in China. 3 years later, her father arranged for her mother to join him in Malaya. Like some Chinese migrants at that time, he had already taken in a concubine by then. Her  mother (外婆) only learned of the situation after she arrived and was totally devastated. Nevertheless, they went on and have 9 more children.

Of the 10 siblings, 8 of them had passed away. Only she and her youngest sister are still alive. She said her youngest sister was the most pitiful among the siblings and still leads a miserable live. She was given away soon after birth to a relative with many sons and betrothed to marry one of them when she came of age. As a result she grew up full of resentment, constantly being teased about her bridal child status and the little boy who was to be her future husband. Despite coming back to stay with her family when she was in her early teens, her father refused  to break the pledge to marry her to one the boys. Mom did not said whether it was a happy marriage but 4th Aunt became a widow with very young children when her husband died in an accident. She stayed on with her husband's family raising her young children, suffering in silence and never remarried. The children grew up, married, moved away and have their own lives. Presently she is staying with one of the sons who unfortunately is an undependable drug addict and her miserable life continues without respite into her old age.

Her father like most Chinese men of the time was feudalistic in his thinking preferring sons to daughters. The preferential treatment for sons meant girls were often neglected. Mom did not  had a chance to go to school until about 10 years old. Being myopic since childhood, she had difficulties reading from the blackboard and coping the notes. As a result she never performed well in her studies. Although glasses were available at that time, her parents did not bother. Girls wearing spectacles also carried a stigma that was deemed unattractive and would put off any potential suitor. It happened that Singapore 2nd Aunt (二 姑) was her classmate then and was a brilliant student. So mom used to borrow and copy her notes.

Mom got married when she was 16 (17 according to lunar calendar). It was at the height of the Japanese occupation of Malaya. Stories of chilling Japanese war atrocities spread like wildfire. Hordes of Chinese men were imprisoned and killed. Girls and young women were taken away to serve as comfort women. Parents with daughters of marriageable age were anxious to marry them off. Her father was then running a sundry shop and was doing quite well financially. Despite living at the edge of the jungle to avoid the Japanese army, there was no shortage of rice and provisions for the family. A few coolies working for her dad were very keen on her but was rejected outright by their Towkay as they were poor and deemed unworthy.

Recalling a story told by 2nd Aunt (二 姑) many years back, dad had spied on her classmate (mom) and was enamored. I never had a chance to ask dad whether it was love at first sight. Anyway a matchmaker was engaged to approach mom's dad (外公) to ask for her hand. Apparently, mom's dad approved of the match and an engagement ceremony was arranged. Mom said her parents never asked for her opinion or consent. She did not even know what dad looked like. She only knew that he worked at a clinic at that time.

To get married, a copy of the birth certificate was required. She told me repeatedly that her dad was very embarrassed because he did not bother to register her birth at that time (birth of daughter was deemed insignificant). It was after some effort and bribery through an intermediary that they managed to produce a birth certificate for her. At the betrothal ceremony, the blushing and timid young maiden did not even dare to lift her head to peek at her husband-to-be.

After her marriage into the Ng Family, a geomancer was consulted and he recommended that mom changed her name because it clashed with one of the ancestors. Hence, she was given a new name and was known as Lee Saw Yan ever since. I did not dare ask how she would rate her arranged marriage. However, judging from the lifelong matrimony of over 7 decades at close quarters, apart from some minor tiff and transgressions by dad in the early years, the couple grew very close by the time the children were all grown up. So like all fairy tales, the ending was... they lived happily ever after......

simon   17 Nov 2016

OLA BOLA

The incentive to go to the cinema to watch a movie has diminished greatly over the years. This is largely due to the big screen HD television set up in the comfort of your home and the hundreds of satellite channels available at your finger tips. If that is not enough there is online video streaming.

However, exceptions are sometimes made for the rare foray to the cinema if a highly rated and top grossing movie is playing. A movie with outstanding acting, awesome cinematography and engrossing plot. Ola Bola definitely does not fall into such category. The low budget film with unknown cast centered around a boring and raggedy past football team would not warrant a trip to the cinema. However piqued by the hype and rave reviews plus the long CNY festive break, decided to incorporate the movie as part of a family outing.

RM20 for a movie ticket was shocking crazy. During my childhood days a third class ticket cost only 50sen. The price has gone up 4000%!!!. Back then we also did not eat Angmo popcorn in the cinema but melon seeds.  3 packets of Quachee were sold for 10sen. Now a bucket of unhealthy popcorn oozing with sugar , caramel and blood clotting saturated fat cost RM12.

So was the movie worth watching on the big screen at RM20 a pop? I must say it is a local film made only for Malaysian audience. Compared to commercial international films it would paled into oblivion. Outside Malaysia even if it is screened for free nobody would come to watch. It has all the tell tale markings of a low budget film. Grainy pictures, no big names, mediocre acting and amateurish football scenes. Even though touted as a docudrama the plot is so cliché and predictable. Sabahans were also upset that historical details were distorted in the final football match between South Korea and Malaysia.

Why then the fuss and it becoming one of the highest local box office collection. There are a number of things going for it.

Firstly, football is popular in Malaysia even though there are a lot more fans than players. 1970s were the glory days of Malaysian football and it has been downhill since. It is currently languishing at 171 in the latest FIFA world ranking. The patriotic Malaysian fans are desperately looking for new football heroes but there is still no light at the end of the murky tunnel.

Secondly besides the younger crowd the film was also able to draw in the baby boomers. It offered  this middle aged generation  a nostalgic trip down memory lane of the good old days. The familiar sights and sound from the Seventies came flooding back. Youth with the long hair,  psychedelic  prints,  the town funfair and Joget scenes.

Thirdly, to appeal to the general audience the film had to spice up its simple plot. Hence, a concoction of tear jerking scenes that pull at your heart strings and some funny antics and comedic relief were thrown into the mix.

Ultimately however, the most salient message that emerged from the film, maybe inadvertently, was the absence of  racial undertone in our society back then. For a group of young people  with a common goal and patriotic dream the bond of friendship was color blind  . It also showed how a poorly funded football team could succeed  through sheer determination and hard work. Fast forward 35 years to 2016. Instead of progressing to a harmonious multicultural nation our country had regressed. Today the very social fabric of our country are being torn asunder by the onslaught of discriminatory policies and blatant racist polemics.

So was it worth the effort to make the trip to the cinema and spend the RM20? I suggest waiting  for it to be screened on the idiot box and it should be real soon too.

Simon   February 2016

AUTUMN IN OSAKA/ KYOTO/ TOKYO

simon dec 2014

GETTING A DRIVING LICENSE – THEN & N0W

The legal age to drive in Malaysia is 17. So after the SPM exams, we duly signed ML up with a driving instructor recommended by one of her friends who has gone through the grind. Nonchalantly, I thought everything will be taken care of. Normal standard procedures, there is no need to be personally involved in anyway. Unfortunately, parenthood is never quite that simple.

Having taken my driving test more than 40 years ago, it was quite an eye-opener to see how the whole process has evolved over the years. Back then in the early 70s, cars were rather rudimentary in nature. Morris Minors and Volkswagen Beetles seemed to be the most popular models then. Air conditioning was unheard of and there was no audio stereo system to distract you. In fact the only luxury item available inside the car, if you could afford it, is a small whirling fan attached to the dashboard. The older model cars did not have indicator lights for turning. The driver had to stick his hand out of the car window to perform the various signals and wave it around like crazy. I wonder if there were any statistics as to how many arms got ripped-off by passing vehicles. Only the more expensive car models would have a pair of yellow plastic arm like indicators that operate mechanically when you throw on the switch.

In those days, anybody with a valid license could be an instructor. So in theory, you could have another 17 year old sit next to you, stick on a L plate and go drive around the town. When you are ready you sign up for the test. The driving test then was conducted by a single JPJ officer. For the oral test, he might ask you at random a couple of traffic signs from the highway code poster stuck on the wall. Following that  will be the actual driving test, which consisted of parallel parking, a 3-point turn and stopping on an incline. He would then inform your driving instructor, more often than not that you had failed because of some infringement during the test. Your driving instructor would act as the intermediary.  The under table going rate then was RM50. Of course you can refuse to pay and opt to re-sit the test. To re-sit cost money and there was no guarantee you would pass the second time round. Most people did not want the hassle, so they paid up and get their kopi-o license.

Fast forward to the present. So what has changed? Surprisingly, manual cars are still being used for the test although the option to use  cars with automatic transmission will be available later this year. The main stay of the test remains the same i.e. parallel parking, stopping on an incline and 3-point turns.

What has been changed is the one-stop test has evolved into a 5 stage procedure. First, you have to pass the highway code test, a 50 questions computer exam in either the BM or English version. If you got through that you are required to attend a 6 hours theory course on car maintenance. You are then entitled to a Learner(L) license that is valid for 3 months. With the L-license you can start your driving lessons under a driving instructor registered with JPJ. After a standard package of 5 lessons or 10 hours of driving, the instructor will enroll you for the JPJ conducted Q.T.I. a pre-qualification test to ascertain that you are ready for the driving test. When it comes to the actual test, the parking section and road test will be conducted by 2 different testers, ostentatiously to discourage bribery and corruption. In reality, this bureaucratic labyrinth of procedures only create even more opportunities for the corrupt testers to collect kopi money at every step of the way. At the going rate of RM200 per stage there is potentially RM800 to be made from each candidate for the driving license. And the most frightening thing is you don't really need to know any of the highway codes or how to drive a car to obtain your license. What you have to do is to be present on the appointed day, sign your name and pay up. You do not even have to get into a car and pretend to drive. So is it any surprise that Malaysia has one of the highest traffic accident rate in the world.

So what is the correct and ethical thing to do when put in such a situation? Take the easy way out - as in join them if you can't beat them? Fortunately, they are still some upright people out there who steadfastly refuse to perpetuate the corrupt system.

simon 21 Mar 2014

CAMERON REVISITED DEC 2013

Lord’s Café – Tanah Rata. A place highly recommended for tea and scones. Their cheese cakes are also well worth a try.

Mossy Forest at an altitude of 2000 meters and located near the peak of Gunung Brinchang is one of the top attractions of Cameron Highlands. The unique moss covered forest especially when viewed on misty day is like a film location from Lords of the Ring.

Gunung Brinchang’s Lookout Tower.

Boh Tea Plantation in Sungai Palas. Nice café and lookout point but exorbitant price for scones.

Pick your own strawberry farm in Sungai Palas.

 Jasmine Café in Tanah Rata. The smoked duck is their house specialty.

Kea Farm Vegetable Market near the Equatorial Hotel.

Lavender Garden – the latest attraction in Cameron Highlands.

simon  25 Dec 2013